I'm a little worried that my hernia is going to keep me from entering either the Ultimate Fighting Championship/Awkwardly Homoerotic kickboxing league, or next year's World's Strongest Man competition. I mean, how will I be able to pull a bus with my teeth in my condition?
It's a fall from grace. Before the hernia, I was able to bench press nearly tens of pounds. But now I find myself being relatively stationary, and feeling flabby. It's not a great feeling. I think I'm gaining weight, despite my best efforts to limit myself to a 12 pack of Sam Adams a day. What to do …
In other news, we've got some more submissions, via some friends of my family, and forwarded to me by my mom, who must be embarrassed beyond measure that her son is recording his life as a herniac. Those entries are "Coli" and "Popeye." I don't know what "Coli" is about (it sounds a little like "cauliflower," and that's freaky). "Popeye" although disturbing, speaks for itself.
Our third submission is "Herbie the Herny." So if you're a big fan of "Herbie Goes Bananas," then you're probably 8. But that's no reason not to vote.
Finally, enjoy this latest installment of Hernianic Titanic:
"I know why you're having stomach discomfort. What I can't understand is, why did you feel the need to swallow a football?"
Have fun with images from my hernia brochures – write your own caption in the comments section!
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