The surgery's done, and I'm resting comfortably, icing areas of my body that need not be named here. The surgery was as much fun as you could imagine: a half a dozen masked strangers working in and around my junk while I was knocked out.
Shortly before the surgery, the surgeon wrote the word "yes" on the left side of my abdomen. Supposedly, this was to denote the area of my hernia, but I now think he was writing "yes," as in "yes we can," giving the appearance that good ol' B.B. was endorsing Barack Obama. While I myself am a strong supporter of Obama, BB was apolitical, and I am a little peeved that the doctor would impose his political beliefs on my hernia.
Anyway, congrats to my good friend Allie for her winning entry, officially dubbing my hernia the Battlestar Ballectomy. I'm also going to give an Honorable Mention to the entry "Ralph," because I love my uncle Ralph. How can I not love a guy who introduced the phrase "roll and squish" to the family lexicon?
I guess the only thing left to do is to stage another contest naming the scars leftover from the wars fought by the gallant Battlestar Ballectomy. Let's show those Cylon sons of bitches that we will never forget.
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